View Full Version : Aspergers in girls

09-08-2012, 08:03 AM
Hi guys. My daughter Esther (10) was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. We have had a feeling that she had Aspergers for a while now so for a professional to tell us has actually been a relief. Especially to Essie. She needed a name to why she was different and has embraced it almost too wholeheartedly!
She likes to tell everyone she meets, "Hello my name is Esther and I have Aspergers".

We are working on that.:unsure:

My question though is this...how hard do I push her in school? She doesnt have a lot of the behavoir issues that tend to manifest in boys especially. No meltdowns or stubborness. In fact she is almost to compliant to everyones needs.

But she is very behind in school. She is socially in 5th grade but working at about a 3rd grade level. She cannot seem to grasp reading ( still sounding out EVERY WORD)

Do I let her learn at her own pace or push her. About 30 min of school at a time an she is done. completely wiped out, so its hard to get everything in that I want her to do when we keep taking breaks.

09-08-2012, 08:38 AM
My ds14 has Aspergers as well, and reading has been a huge struggle for him too. At 10, he was also sounding out every word, even words he had just sounded out on the previous line. He just could not recall or remember them.

My ds not only has to deal with Aspergers, but also both visual and auditory processing disorders. We've been working on those issues with a variety of things over the years: Dianne Crafts Brain Integration Therapy + her Right-Brain Phonics, and Audiblox. The combination of the 2 have really helped my ds, and in the last year he finally made his biggest stride, and he didn't lose it over the summer.... that was huge for him.

We have been using Dianne Crafts materials for 3 years now I think, so he started it when he was around 10, and then I added the Audiblox in, which he has used for about a year and a half. I've found that both programs compliment each other very well, and it was that combination that finally gave him the boost he needed. We are still doing both of them, much to ds's disappointment, but I just keep encouraging him that it's working and we keep at it.

As far as the time issue, my ds was like that as well, so we would change things up often. I found what worked the best was not to push the limit, but change activities/subjects before he reached his limit. So if his limit was 30 minutes, then I would stop at 20 minutes, give him a short break, then go on with another 15-20 minutes of something. He just needed more time to process information, and what I realized was that during the break time he was still trying to process what we had just gone over, and needed the break to continue the processing. Once he had that break time, then he could move on to something else. If I moved on too fast, we would be 15 minutes into the next lesson and he would ask me about something on the previous lesson, and hadn't even heard anything about the new lesson because he would still be processing that previous one. Does that make sense? Over time his processing has become quicker, and his time limit has become longer, but it's taken time and finding out what works best for him.

I've also added in lots of thinking skills type books from Critical Thinking Press. They have short lessons and have seemed to help a lot. We do the Building Thinking Skills books which have some visual perceptual exercises in them, Mind Benders puzzles, and this year I've added a new one called Balance Benders with math puzzles.

Sheryl in NH
09-08-2012, 09:10 AM
Have you read "Aspergirls" or "Aspergers In Pink"? Both deal specifically with these issues.

As to how hard to push her - don't forget that God gave this child to you. You are the specialist in knowing her. Trust your instinct.

Hollie in SC
09-08-2012, 10:03 AM
:group: Praying for you, sweet friend.

Have you though of having her evaluated for other learning issues? That might be your next step. It would let you know if you are dealing with only issues related to Aspergers or if you have multiple issues.

Love and prayers for you and your girl.:group:

Mary FL
09-17-2012, 09:26 PM

I'm intrigued by your comment that Essie is "socially at 5th grade." Our ds' psychologist thinks ds doesn't have Asperger's because his testing showed he was "normal" socially. He made me believe if he's doing okay socially, he couldn't have Asperger's. But why does my gut think otherwise? I'm praying to God to lead us to the answers. My son is 10 like your Essie and in the 5th grade.

Thank you for listening.

ETA: Jackie and others, I started a new thread.

09-20-2012, 11:05 PM
Jackie, my 15 year old is an Aspie and she struggled to learn how to read too. She got all lot of the rules and phonemic awareness and still no reading. So when she was in 5th grade and reading at kindergarten - first grade level I decided to try a different aproach.

I had her pick out a book she really loved from her five in a row books It was Cranberry Thanksgiving. I started out by reading a sentence and having her repeat the sentence after me. We went through the whole paragraph that way. I think we started out by just 5 or 10 minutes at a time because she would become very frustrated. I would have her read the small paragraphs back to me till she was just hesitating here and there not perfect but pretty smooth. We finished the book and it was as if she got what reading was all about. I think for her she needed to see and experiance reading felt like not more rules. This worked for her. Sometimes Aspies need to experience something to understand it.

As far as how much time to school mine is in high school but still I need to give her lots of time in between subjects. If the subject is hard then I split it into. Mine needs lots of breaks to get thru all her subjects. When she was younger I would set a timer and I would call her back to work. She is older now and can manage her time better. HTH's :)

09-27-2012, 06:16 PM
Mary... I say socially because that is where I place her for co -ops and at church. She acts more like 3rd grade and actually prefers childrens that age ( or much older adults) to her peers.

We will more than likely have her repeat 5th grade next year to give her one more year before going in youth and also to catch up to be more grade level.

She is reading better now that I have changed things up a bit. We are doing more flash cards/ sight words and also Norma, I tried your advice and she did much better.

She bought an ipad with her birthday money and we have loaded a few apps about reading for her to try too.

Thanks so much for your responses :)

Mary FL
09-28-2012, 09:12 AM
Thanks, Jackie. :hi:

09-28-2012, 10:28 AM
I don't have any specific titles, but I know there are lots of great apps for the iPad that tackle social skills. I'm hoping to get an iPad for my youngest, and want to get some of those social skills apps for my Aspie boy, too.

Just thought I'd mention it. :)