PDA

View Full Version : What would you say to your 18yodd... [update on #49]



molly in cr
12-31-2010, 08:32 PM
who is asking for a tattoo?

FWIW, my dh is quite tatted up, so it is not that we are opposed to tattoos around here. I'm just feeling like it is sooooo permanent.

She is still a senior and living at home which is why she isn't making the decision as an adult. But should I just let her be the adult and make this one? Dh told her that she could get one when *I* said yes. Coward. :lol:(joking, sort of :unsure:)

Marcia
12-31-2010, 08:42 PM
Well, my 18 yos wants one, and I told him if he can pay for it, he can have one. :unsure: He has always worked, but took this year off to play sports, so he is pretty broke. I'm hoping this will give him more time to mature and reallly think about it before he does it. I'm not against them either. I just don't want it to be a rash decision.

Cari
12-31-2010, 08:47 PM
I would probably try to hold it off until graduation (in the hope that maybe the urge will pass?)

Cari

Nedra
12-31-2010, 09:07 PM
If it were me I would be fine with it as long as he could pay for it himself.

But I like tattoos. My almost 17 yr. old son has an earring (got it at 15 1/2) and I think it looks great on him.

Chris D.
12-31-2010, 09:10 PM
Well, I got one when I was 18 without my parents even knowing until it was done, but I don't regret it even 16 years later, so I would tell her that it's up to her but raise some considerations, such as the size, place and content of the tattoo. Mine is a small Christian fish on my ankle.... If my daughter did the same at 18 I'd be fine, but if she wanted to get something on her face or something I'd be more concerned.

Alice R
12-31-2010, 09:52 PM
I'd encourage her to wait until she was a bit older.

I'd also be very concerned where and what she did. Putting a small tattoo in a covered spot is very different than putting something on your neck or on your forearm.

There are a lot of people out there who regret what they did when they were 18. :lol:

MelissaSS
12-31-2010, 10:03 PM
I think as long as it was something modest in size and in a coverable location, and she could pay for it, I would be fine with it. My sister was allowed to get one at 16, and I think that was a bit to young, but she doesn't at all regret it, and my mom helped her find a good, reputable place to get it done.

Now, dh has tattoo issues, so I don't know what he will do if one of ours wants to get one while still living at home :lol:

Trish A
12-31-2010, 11:23 PM
I got one when I was 16 and it's one of the stupidest things I've ever done.

I'm not sure I'd say no because at 18 I'm guessing she doesn't NEED permission anyways but I'd definitely pray and encourage her to think about it a little longer...and show her lots of pics of tattoos gone wrong. ;)

:group: You are making me grateful my oldest is only 13... :group:

laurie in ok
12-31-2010, 11:28 PM
At 18, I think I would let it be up to her. However, I think I would ask her to do some research on tattoos in general. I just heard some studies recently on the high occurrence of hepatitis C from tattoos and on the bias of bosses. It can be much harder to get a job with a showing tattoo. So, that said, I would want to make sure she knew this was a very big decision.

WendyW
01-01-2011, 12:07 AM
On the topic of location.... my dd (who does not have one yet) wanted on on her lower spine. Someone told her that with a tat in that location, you cannot have spinal or epidural anesthesia. For any girl with the desire to have babies, that is definitely something to keep in mind.

Sasha
01-01-2011, 12:11 AM
All you can do is encourage her to think more about it and hopefully choose a place where it can be covered. The argument that "everyone" has tattoos just doesn't hold. She doesn't know where she'll be in ten years, heck she may one day be dating a governor's son and need to go to a fancy ball and there's that hideous spider tattoo crawling up her calf for the world to see.
I use to work with mostly men a few years back and to hear what they said about females with tattoos cured me of ever wanting one:lol:

Melanie
01-01-2011, 12:50 AM
On the topic of location.... my dd (who does not have one yet) wanted on on her lower spine. Someone told her that with a tat in that location, you cannot have spinal or epidural anesthesia. For any girl with the desire to have babies, that is definitely something to keep in mind.

You might want to research this, as I have a friend with a tat on her lower back (a big one) and she definitely had an epidural!!!

Melanie
01-01-2011, 12:52 AM
I got one at age 18 (with my dad's permission, but my mom was not happy). I kind of regret the placement. It is on my ankle and I have a job where I have to dress professionally on a regular basis. A skirt suit with a tat....not so cute. :no:

Kendra AU
01-01-2011, 02:39 AM
I'd tell any of my children, "Not while you're living here you don't." :D Seriously. But then, I have tat issues. ;)

That said, my brother and sister each got them. My brother has regretted his right from the get-go and it's just his initials. Seriously, he said soooo many times that he just wished he'd never done it. It's on his arm and only noticeable if he's wearing sleeveless.

My sister, on the other hand got tattooed on makeup for the eyes, and something on her back. Not entirely sure what, but we're treated to it each time she bends over. :eyes:

Yes, I'm old fashioned. ;) I'd probably also tell my kids my brother's story.. and the story of the lady who use to be my aerobic instructor. Her son went and got a tattoo when he was living on his own. Yeah, well then they all went on a family vacation with an ageing grandparent who had Alzheimer's. EVERY TIME she saw the boy and his tat she'd say, "What's that? Did you do it on purpose?" and so on. Eventually he wouldn't let it be seen for the rest of the vacation while Granny was around and he said told his mom that he honestly hated it now. :lol: As in the tattoo and the questions. His mom found it super funny because she'd warned him not to do it.

Oh, and for the record, while I'd tell my children that I wouldn't hate them for doing it. I doubt I'd even punish them for it to be honest, but depending on what it was and where it was I'd most likely make them cover it up.. :lol:

Colleen OH
01-01-2011, 04:22 AM
I'm one of those old fashioned ones with serious tattoo issues, both religiously and from a standpoint of a sometimes employer. I'd request any child of mine living at home not to get one.

Michelle B.
01-01-2011, 09:39 AM
You might want to research this, as I have a friend with a tat on her lower back (a big one) and she definitely had an epidural!!!

When they came in to give me mine the dr was relieved to not see any ink. He said it cold be dangerous to give on on a tat? I don't know though. May be a dr preference too. If I ever got one it would be like the episode on "Friends": earth as seen from outer space!:lol:

Kendall in GA
01-01-2011, 09:56 AM
I'm just feeling like it is sooooo permanent.



..because it is! :yes:

I'd tell her that when she is living on her own as an adult, she can decide. I wouldn't discourage her; but, I'd definitely encourage her to wait until she is a few years older only b/c making a permanent decision at 18yo is VERY young. (It is not so much that a tattoo is involved, any "permanent" decision at 18 should be discouraged, IMO.) Also, I'd ask her to consider its implications, if any, on her future career plans...It could be :eek1: or no big deal. :unsure:

Sheri
01-01-2011, 10:00 AM
I would ask him/her to wait until they were out of highschool and to really put some thought into it.

Not that I have a problem with tattoos, but tastes change. If I had gotten the tattoo I considered in college I'd have tweety bird on my ankle. I'll admit, within two years I was thinking "vine" if I ever got one that's exactly what I'd get and it's been a good 20 years now.

Tori
01-01-2011, 10:11 AM
My DH has quite a few tattoos, including one that covers almost his entire left upper arm. I like his ok, but never intend to get one myself :unsure: I think it depends on what the tattoo is and it's placement. The chance of still loving the tattoo that you get when you are 18 at 80 probably isn't that great. I would probably encourage my daughter to wait six months or so to make sure she still truly wants it, and have her pay for it herself.

Christi in VA
01-01-2011, 11:14 AM
I, too, agree with asking her to wait. Also, I'd consider asking my adult children to approach their spouses with the request one day. If my dh had asked me if he could get the tattoo on his arm, I'd flatly deny that one. I don't have a problem with tattoos , but location, permanence and what the designs is-it matters!

Cindy in CA
01-01-2011, 11:24 AM
I pray that never comes up in this house. Honestly, I do not like them. I would discourage it because it is so permanent. I have noticed a lot of piercings and tatoos on teenagers and young adults lately and I personally don't find them pleasing to the eye in the least. I just don't get it at all, but I know that is just me. :unsure:

:)

Jeni
01-01-2011, 11:39 AM
I don't care for tattoos. I would never get one myself personally but my dh has 2 very large half sleeve tattoos on both arms that he got while we lived in Okinawa :eyes: One is a dragon and the other is the grim reaper :eyes: :eyes: Apparently for the size and detail of his tattoos, they would have been well over $1000 in the US. He paid the equivalent of about $450 total for both in Japan. I fought him tooth and nail on getting those tattoos. He was in his mid twenties when he got them and he still wants more. Right now, none of my kids want tattoos but I've told them if they do ever want them, they can have them when they are living on their own and can afford it themselves. I can see my oldest daughter probably getting one when she's grown and my oldest boy might but my second oldest I can't see him ever wanting to get one. Just not his kind of thing. The little two are too young to tell yet. ;)

AmyinWI
01-01-2011, 11:55 AM
my stepson got one the day he turned 18, against our advice.... but he paid for it. Now he's in the Navy and has many, many more....

my 20yo dd got one the day she turned 18,too. We advised her not to, but of course she had her mind set on it... she paid for it.

I guess if any further kids ask for one, we will probably advise against it... unfortunately once they are 18,they can do what they want.:sad:

rachelmn
01-01-2011, 12:11 PM
Has she considered using henna to see how she would really feel about? Henna lasts only 3 weeks and then she would know how it would really look with all her clothes etc.... Just a thought! :)

molly in cr
01-01-2011, 01:38 PM
Thanks for all of the candid replies. As for some of the things that came up...

it would be covered, you would probably only see it when she is in her bathing suit.

She has been thinking about it for at least a year. But, I pointed out to her, the one she wants has changed. What if she changes her mind again in six months?

Unfortunately (fortunately?) we are very good friends with the guy that would give it to her, so I don't think cost will be an issue.

Rebecca in Orlando
01-01-2011, 04:46 PM
I love some people with tattoos, but I hate tattoos! I've never seen one I like or been tempted by one. But, that's just me. However, if she were 18, I would tell her I didn't want her to do it, but the decision would be hers. (I would not pay for it.) My sweet nephew has them all over his arms and back. I don't like them, but I really don't even think about the tats when I see him, just how much I love HIM.

BeckyOK
01-01-2011, 05:35 PM
I would encourage her to research the medical implications first.

A good friend of ours went in for surgery and they suspected cancer. The lymph nodes appeared to be involved but the surgeon decided rather than continuing to do a more radical surgery he would wait for the pathology report. When that came back what had visually appeared cancerous was actually caused by a tatoo he had and he was cancer free. SO glad the surgeon erred on the side of caution rather than doing the radical surgery.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/tattoos-and-piercings/MC00020

Amanda K
01-01-2011, 11:33 PM
I wouldn't encourage it nor would I discourage it. I feel if pushed too far in one direction, one may rebel. Atleast that's what happened to me, my sis, and many friends. I'd tell her if I did/didn't like the idea, make her think hard about what she would want, make her pay for it, and tell her that she better be sure, because there's no going back. And of course if she were dead set on getting one, I'd make sure she gets something that is going to mean something to her for the rest of her life.

I was 25 when I got mine. I wanted one forever before then, but along with a previous poster (Sheri, I think?), I also wanted Tweety Bird. I couldn't see myself today with a Tweety Bird tat, so I'm glad I didn't do it. I did have my daughter's name put on my lower back, but I wish I had chosen a different spot. But the good thing is that it is very meaningful to me, and I'm happy with it. That being said, I have no problem with tats at all. ;)

Dawn Gilmore
05-18-2012, 10:19 PM
Any chance you can introduce her to some OLD guys with old tats? An idea of what it's going to look like when her skin is saggy and wrinkled may influence her decision. ;)

My biggest objection to most tattoos, is simply the permanence of them.... and of course the health risks.

Heather W
05-18-2012, 10:31 PM
Ok Molly...this thread is over a year old...almost a year and a half and I thought it was current!

So, now I must know. Did she get the tattoo?? :lol:

DD in IL
05-18-2012, 11:13 PM
Besides the possible hep and yes many employers do not like them....I have also heard you need to be careful with the dyes that are used (some are not approved). My youngest one wanted one at about that age but decided not to; she had found some scripture in the Bible that caused her to not do it.

DD in IL
05-18-2012, 11:17 PM
Heather, you are so observant.

Gwen in Texas
05-19-2012, 12:58 AM
I would say: "Noooooo! I have wanted a tattoo for years and it is not fair that you get one before I do! How about we go together if Dad says yes?"

So, what did she decide?

Robin(CA)
05-19-2012, 06:05 AM
Ok Molly...this thread is over a year old...almost a year and a half and I thought it was current!

So, now I must know. Did she get the tattoo?? :lol:

I was all, "Kendall is back to posting?!?!" :clap: Then I looked at the date. :lol: :(

Rachel Jane
05-19-2012, 06:27 AM
I was all, "Kendall is back to posting?!?!" :clap: Then I looked at the date. :lol: :(

me too!

Joy in Alabama
05-19-2012, 07:19 AM
me too!

I did, too! I was so excited!

Tracy-chi
05-19-2012, 08:44 AM
How funny such an old thread getting bumped. I'm curious as well, did she get it?
In high school I really wanted a star tattoo around my belly button. THANK GOD I never did this.
But when I was 21 and studying abroad in new Zealand. After finishing the Routeburn trail, I went and got a tiny turtle on my left big toe.
Anyways I have told my children to give it lots of thought and wait until they are 21, I spent years thinking about what to get. My tat has so much meaning and symbolism for me. There were many girls in college-free of their parents who got the lower back tattoo within the first weeks of independence.
My tat is very me. I love animals, love being on the fringe of culture, just enough to surprise people :)
I really want to get a paw print on my other foot, but I'm scared of what MY mother would say :roflol: I guess something's don't change

Julie Y
05-19-2012, 09:16 AM
Any chance you can introduce her to some OLD guys with old tats? An idea of what it's going to look like when her skin is saggy and wrinkled may influence her decision. ;)


:lol: just thinking about how one goes about finding such a anti-role model. Advertise on Craiglist? Looking for people with saggy wrinkled tattoos to show my daughter what not to do.

My dd who turned 18 on April 1 has been talking tattoos non-stop for the past year. I'm thankful she hasn't gotten one yet, but I know it's only a matter of time. I'm personally trying to discourage her and keep telling her to take her time and don't rush into anything.

I, too, was excited to see Kendall's post but then realized this was a resurrected thread. Apparently we moderators need to do some decluttering of this board. ;)

Carol S
05-19-2012, 10:11 AM
The age of the thread is funny.

I didn't really read it the first time, but did now, and one thing really struck me. Although right now I can't imagine my kids wanting tattoos, if it ever does come up, I think I'm going to suggest the idea of waiting until they are married and see what their spouse thinks. I think that has a lot of wisdom.

I wonder what Tim would think? Not that I actually want a real one, but I wonder what he'd think if I came home with some henna? :lol:

Angela Paige
05-19-2012, 10:32 AM
The age of the thread is funny.

:yes: :lol:



I wonder what Tim would think? Not that I actually want a real one, but I wonder what he'd think if I came home with some henna? :lol:

When I was single, I got some henna art on my hand and wrist. I was at the state fair with a bunch of my high school 4-H'ers and I commented on some of the pretty designs. They kept urging me to try it and so I gave in to the pressure (not exactly peer pressure, but something like that ... :lol: ).

Anyway ... by the end of the 3 weeks, I was glad it wasn't permanent. And I learned yet another big lesson about giving in to things that I'm not convinced I want to do. People-pleasing can be such a terrible habit! Of course, now that I'm married, I'm quite positive Jon wouldn't appreciate henna art any more than he would a tattoo. :lol: However, he fosters and encourages me to do other things for myself ... pedicures, highlights in my hair, splurging on new lipstick or perfume. It's nice to feel like I can enjoy things that make me feel beautiful without the guilt. :clap:

Paige

Jen in OK
05-19-2012, 12:38 PM
I would definitely advise somewhere where it isn't visible in work clothing! Dh surprised me by getting a tattoo of my name for our anniversary. He said when he went in, the guy tried to talk him out of it because he said it wasn't a good idea to get someone's name in case you broke up. He said since we'd been together for 15 years at that point, he was comfortable with the risk. :lol: It is up on his shoulder and you can only see it if he isn't wearing a shirt, which for public viewing is only when he's swimming.

Darla
05-19-2012, 12:39 PM
Any chance you can introduce her to some OLD guys with old tats? An idea of what it's going to look like when her skin is saggy and wrinkled may influence her decision. ;)

That is exactly what I was thinking! I thought my dd would want a tat when she turned 18 and I was very graphic ~ pulled up my shirt and told her to think about what it would look like when she was my age. Not a pretty picture in my opinion.:roflol:

Did you ever think about this parenting issue coming up when you were pregnant? Pretty sure I didn't.

Darla

Jodi B
05-19-2012, 01:44 PM
My issues with it are:


It's permanent.
There are certain professions which frown upon them showing.


I'm of the mindset as well if you're going to do it, put it somewhere where it can be easily covered by clothing.

Cori
05-19-2012, 02:31 PM
I read an article a couple of years ago about the worst places for women to get tattoos since the body changes during pregnancy and weight gain. I would go for the foot/ankle or the lower back/shoulder area. I hadn't heard of it affecting an epidural.

I agree that job opportunities are a consideration too.

Dawn Gilmore
05-19-2012, 03:29 PM
:lol: just thinking about how one goes about finding such a anti-role model. Advertise on Craiglist? Looking for people with saggy wrinkled tattoos to show my daughter what not to do.


:lol:

Working as a volunteer or a nurse's aide in a nursing home would probably do it ;)


That is exactly what I was thinking! I thought my dd would want a tat when she turned 18 and I was very graphic ~ pulled up my shirt and told her to think about what it would look like when she was my age. Not a pretty picture in my opinion.:roflol:


Although Darla's approach could be pretty effective as well! :lol:

Jodi B
05-19-2012, 03:56 PM
Or go to a bar where bikers hang out ... <a href="http://s10.photobucket.com/albums/a119/jodilb/?action=view&amp;current=eusa_shifty.gif" target="_blank"><img src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a119/jodilb/eusa_shifty.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

Jen in CO
05-19-2012, 04:07 PM
I wish someone had told me "no" when I was 18. Oh wait, they did, and I did it anyway!

I guess I should be wishing I'd been a smarter 18 year old!

Paige P
05-19-2012, 06:12 PM
Ya'll are cracking me up :lol:

I was thrilled to see Kendall posting and then when I saw Jeni chimed in, I decided I'd best look at the date ;) Too bad :unsure: Miss those ladies :group:

So, Molly, we're all curious -- what DID your dd decide after all this time ?!?!?!?! :D

molly in cr
05-19-2012, 08:05 PM
This is so funny! Let's see...I asked the question in December 2010 and I can't remember exactly when she got it, but I know it was after our trip to Williamsburg in may, 2011, because of the one she chose. You can see it in this picture, (hopefully I can figure out how to post one)

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/boulterfamily/6255364253/" title="IMG_5781 by goodgollycr, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6095/6255364253_23d65a15cb_n.jpg" width="320" height="213" alt="IMG_5781"></a>

She says she is still happy with it and is considering more. :)

Eta: she did pay for it herself...a whopping $20.

Thanks, Cara for the heads up on this thread!

Marcia
05-20-2012, 01:03 PM
Aw, she did good! It looks nice. :)

Jennifer in VA
05-20-2012, 01:09 PM
Still hoping Molly chimes in as to whatever happened!

Linda
05-20-2012, 01:14 PM
Still hoping Molly chimes in as to whatever happened!

She did (http://www.fiveinarowforums.com/showpost.php?p=1052551&postcount=49). ;)

molly in cr
05-20-2012, 01:45 PM
Aw, she did good! It looks nice. :)

:)

Heather W
05-20-2012, 04:46 PM
Awesome! Thanks for answering. :lol:

Jen in CO
05-20-2012, 07:31 PM
Aw, it's so pretty and dainty! She did a good job!

Jennifer in VA
05-20-2012, 10:03 PM
She did (http://www.fiveinarowforums.com/showpost.php?p=1052551&postcount=49). ;)

okay, never mind, guess I didn't scroll down far enough when I posted earlier today. It's been a brain fog of a day today!

Linda
05-20-2012, 10:25 PM
okay, never mind, guess I didn't scroll down far enough when I posted earlier today. It's been a brain fog of a day today!

No problem. I have those often. :spin: :lol: