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View Full Version : Sad, tired and oh, so discouraged :(



Cari
03-06-2011, 03:07 PM
I posted a little of this in the prayer room, but just needed to "talk" in a forum where people understand (I hope).

Bipolar disorder is draining the life out of me. There's no other way to say it. I feel so utterly defeated physically, emotionally and spiritually. The threat of still another hospitalization looms over my head. And I'm running out of fight.

At one of the therapy sessions during my hospital stay, we watched a video on mental illnesses, and one of the speakers commented that mental illnesses are the only ones where no one brings a covered dish. I don't think that's completely true ~ I'm sure many of you with "invisible" physical illnesses can relate as well ~ but it feels so much like NO ONE understands.

And as if it weren't enough, now we've added hypothyroidism to my diagnoses. On one hand, treating that may help some of the physical and emotional symptoms I've experienced, but it's just one more thing on top of one more thing. And one more medication to take.

In any event, I need to make some major lifestyle changes if I'm going to stay out of the hospital for any length of time so off to read some of the other threads to get some ideas...

Cari

Kendall in GA
03-06-2011, 03:30 PM
:group: :group: :group: Now I know why the Lord had you come to mind several times while I was in church this morning....Continuing to pray (and listen)!! :group: :group: :group:

Rachel Jane
03-06-2011, 04:17 PM
:group:

rachelmn
03-06-2011, 07:00 PM
Praying for you Cari. :group: I know that must be such a difficult thing to live with. :group: Please know that we are praying, praying, praying and are in your corner!:group:

Trudy
03-06-2011, 07:26 PM
Praying Cari. :group: :group:

Linda
03-06-2011, 07:49 PM
:group: Praying!

CJ
03-06-2011, 07:55 PM
My brother is bi-polar and my uncle I grew up with (only 3 years old than me) is also bi-polar. I have hypothyroidism. You sound like you are all 3 of us wrapped up together! You deserve a medal!

I'm so glad you are reaching out to your online friends. I look forward to hearing about the changes you are going to make that will improve your situation. We are all here for you!!

:group:

Christy in NE
03-06-2011, 10:25 PM
:group: Cari :group:

Definitely get your Thyroid under control-that will should make a huge difference! Many people with Hypo often are dxed with Depression, when in fact, it was the Hypo causing the symptoms all along. I'm not saying that's the case for you-just passing on that that little gland greatly effects both our bodies and minds.

Praying for you!!:group::group::group:

Merrilee Morse
03-07-2011, 10:01 AM
I agree that an out of whack thyroid can be HUGE. I know mine has caused a lot of exhaustion and depression. I know what you mean about invisible illness; even my dh who should know and understand gets impatient with my meltdowns at times. Like I am just being manipulative somehow. :eyes: Hugs to you Cari. Hang in there. Yeah, I know. That sounds SO lame.

Kendra AU
03-07-2011, 07:09 PM
:group: I'm with Merrilee, people with thyriods out of whack can also have emotional issues. Hang in there Cari, we care!

Sue C
03-07-2011, 10:28 PM
:group::group::group: and prayers!

Lynn,NC
03-08-2011, 03:11 PM
Cari, I'm so sorry! I agree with what the others have said about hypothyroidism parading around behind the scenes of anxiety, depression and other symptoms. Before my hypothyroidism/Hashimoto's disease was diagnosed, I had reached the point of panic attacks and depression. Once on treatment, these eased up.

I am in no way able to or trying to tell you how to care for yourself medically, but seeing a reputable alternative practitioner in addition to my medical doctor allowed me to tailor supplements to my own needs and feel much better---results I could feel!! Many people with hypothyroidism are magnesium deficient, A deficient, D deficient, and your body is burning through vitamin C as well when you are under stress.

I'm thinking of you and hoping you know we all care. You'll get it straightened out. Go as easy on yourself as you possibly can right now. Be good to yourself and love yourself in spite of it all. Not easy, but I want you to feel better. :group:

Cari
03-09-2011, 02:48 PM
Thanks, ladies. It does help to feel as though there are those who understand, even if most of you are dealing with physical rather than psychiatric illnesses.

I accepted a referral to a partial hospitalization program today. For those unfamiliar with the term, I will be attending a program 4-5 days a week, 3-7 hours a day depending on what the outcome of my evaluation is, for intensive individual and group therapy as well as medication monitoring.

It's what I need. It's not what I want. I have no idea how school will continue or how everyone will get where they need to be. I HATE the burden I've become to friends and family. Yet as one of my friends so bluntly put it, I can spend a month getting that much closer to true healing, or I can just plan on spending a week in a locked-down psych unit every six months or so ;(.

This is SO hard.

Cari

Loralin
03-21-2011, 08:11 PM
Just checking in on you Cari, to see how you're doing. Continuing to pray for you!:group::group::group:

Carol Ryan
04-07-2011, 01:53 AM
Cari,

I was just wondering how you are doing. I have both psychiatric illness and hypothyroidism. There's also a few other diagnoses that got tossed into the mix. I do understand. I truly do.

Unfortunately, a lot of people don't understand what we go through with invisible handicaps, but I've found that my friends love me and try to help me as much as they possibly can. It is mostly by encouragement and offering a kind word here and there. At other times it was help with the kids (when they were little) or offering the carry the burden for co-op for a while, etc. This is one time where making note of every little gift of compassion and mercy and grace was warranted in my life. It helped me focus on all that God is doing and notice what is happening where before I would tend to overlook those kinds of things.

Also, don't be afraid to make your needs known. One of my closest friends went through a miscarriage a few years ago. I had been through four prior to that. After she went through hers, she was astounded at how difficult and emotionally painful of an experience it was. She grieved over not having been all that she thought I needed her to be during my time of grief. She was very frustrated with herself.

I reminded her that she loved me through it and that God is the One Who meets our needs. She did say that she wished I had been more vocal about what my needs were at the time. That taught me a great lesson. There are some friends that you can say this is specifically what I need. So don't be afraid to ask. There are those who love you and would love to bless you.

Praying that you are doing well in the partial hospitalization program and that you are being encouraged and strengthened emotionally, physically, and spiritually. God will meet you where you are, even in the psych unit, even if it's locked down. ;) I know from personal experience. Love you, girl!

Hugs for you. :group:

Alice R
04-16-2011, 06:51 PM
Cari, thinking about you.

how are you doing?