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View Full Version : Parents Doing the Work for Kids.... Vent



Chris D.
03-28-2011, 04:54 AM
So last night my little one had a race at AWANA with wooden cars they were supposed to make at home (similar to pinewood derby in boyscouts). She's 4 and in the 3 to 4 year old age group. The directions clearly say to have the child do as much of the work themselves as possible. Clearly a child her age can't manage all of the cutting and such, but in her age group I'm 99% sure that the parents did all or very close to all of the work on the vast majority of the cars. Hers was the only one that looked like it was 100% hand painted by the child herself, which seems to me like something the kids should definately be able to handle.
My little one had a good time and was clearly proud of herself and her car. Even before I saw the competition I had talked to her about focusing on having fun rather than just on winning, and I think the judges recognized her independant work because she did get a third place ribbon for appearance despite her car being less polished than others, but it was just uncomfortable to me wondering if it will always be that way and if in the future she might notice that her car (or whatever project) is not as "professionaly done" as the other kids and feel badly.
OK, vent over.

Kendra AU
03-28-2011, 05:22 AM
:group: This is a common vent, you're not alone.

I remember Dad always gave us tips or ideas, but he only did what we requested. In other words he'd show us how this shape or that shape would effect how the car would move, pull, or how fast it would be. BUT, if we wanted it, that's what he did.

All that said, I think if the powers to be started awarding more points to the children who did the work, there'd be less venting and frustration. ;)

Dawn Gilmore
03-28-2011, 06:29 AM
All that said, I think if the powers to be started awarding more points to the children who did the work, there'd be less venting and frustration. ;)

I agree... I wish that the judges would award the appearance awards to the cars that were OBVIOUSLY done by the children, rather than the parents. Same thing occurs in scouts, and it's just aggravating. When we were Cub Scout leaders, one of the things we did was to have an "open class" to let the parents make their own cars, so they were less vested in the child's car being "perfect." While it didn't eliminate the problem entirely, it helped a LOT!

WendyW
03-28-2011, 07:57 AM
I'm with you on that one! We used to have one family in our Awana that would come in with their cars looking like they rolled off a showroom floor. They brought them in boxes that were lined with foam cut to fit the shape of the car! The dad was MAJORLY possessive of the cars, and insisted on doing the weigh-in himself instead of letting the pit crew handle the cars. They usually won, too, and were the cause of a LOT of grumbling from other clubbers and dads. MANY people were glad they did not come back to Awana this year.

JavaJackie
03-28-2011, 07:59 AM
Last year in my son (10)'s age group, one dad clearly did all the work and even sharpened the wheels or something. His kid won by a mile and then he was all taking the kid on a victory lap around the gym when he won. It was actually embarassing to me that he got so much pleasure from cheating.:unsure:

Rachel Jane
03-28-2011, 08:02 AM
:crazy: isn't it?
What has the child learned here?
I just wonder why people take it so seriously that they would cheat. :unsure:

Dawn of Kansas
03-28-2011, 08:25 AM
I had a fried recently comment to me about a competition her daughter was in that one of the parts of the competition "looked liked a 10 yo had done." A 10 yo had done it. :unsure: It has bothered me because evidently the parents were suppose to do more of it. :confused: Now I know her daughter did an excellent job and I don't know that her mom helped her a lot either.

Always makes it tough. I know when we go to county fair for 4H, it's always evident which projects the kids did and which ones the parents did. :unsure:

Hayley M
03-28-2011, 08:28 AM
My parents never did anything for me. They barely lent me support (which I think was not good either). I remember doing a science fair in middle school, and being proud of what I had made.... until I saw what the other kids had done. In retrospect many of the projects had been thought up and mostly done by mom and dad. I was crushed. I wish I had gotten more help from my parents, but I also think it's wrong for mom and dad to do the work for the kids.

Esther-Alabama
03-28-2011, 09:15 AM
This is my BIGGEST pet peeve with the cub scouts pine wood derby. Some dads, and moms get very competitive regarding their cars. It is supposed to be a father-son activity. They are supposed to work on it together, dad doing the cutting, kid sanding, painting, etc... My boys cars never do great, but except for the cutting, the boys do the work.

If you could see my boy's cars vs some of the other cars.... It is hysterical to pretend that the boys did the work.

Frankly, it is this way regarding every competition in cub scouts. Pinewood derby, cake decorating contest, rain gutter regatta, and must about everything else. We recently did a cake contest with the boys. Steve gathered them around them table, they all cracked eggs and measured ingredients, and ran the mixer. When the cakes were done, they were given lots of different candies, colored icing, and given a general idea of what to do. They did the decorating 100% alone. They did well, but it of course looked childish.

When we arrived for the contest.... All the other cakes were unbelievable. Like the final exams in a cake decorating master class. One other cake was obviously done by the child. Our boys were embarrassed by their cakes. I decided then NO more of these things. If they cannot be fair, I am not entering my kids in the contests.

Ok. Off my soapbox!!!

Rachel Jane
03-28-2011, 09:32 AM
In my opinion, Esther, your boys are the winners because they obeyed the rules. J got 2nd place in a karate competition because the 'winner' cheated. We had a long discussion about what it means to be a real winner and what it means to be a loser with a trophy. That child will always feel like he was an impostor instead of enjoying his win. (The winner took a short cut during part of the obstacle course)

Robin H in VA
03-28-2011, 10:18 AM
My ds didn't get to bring his car home, they did them at church and I didn't even know about it. He just told me last week that they made them and are suppose to race them, but I have no idea when and he missed church last week. :sad: I hope it didn't miss the race!!

My ds also builds model cars and he has been in one contest and I have no idea what these judges look at, but obviously they don't care about the kids that do the work themselves. Most of the cars that ds went up against were 'professionally' done, I mean all the way down to the chome on the wheels to the finishing on the paint. :eek: All the other kids that were there didn't even look at the other cars and take notice, but their parents sure did and their were LOTS of comments like - 'I did a better job on so-and-so's car than that one did'. They were just telling everyone that they painted their childs car or put the decals on or even 'helped' put it together because their child was not old enough to do those kind of things. :eyes:

Now what about those parents who not only do the projects for their kids, but also do their kids school work??? I know a lady that does this and her daughter LOVES to tell everyone that she doesn't have to do any of her assigned school work because she make her mom do it all!

ann e
03-28-2011, 10:20 AM
TOTALLY relating to this. We do it every year. My dh helps and we build cars. If dd decides she doesn't want to do most of it, we run it in the open just as another family car and we pull her from her age group.

We have a neighbor that does her children's cars every year. She even posts on facebook that she's doing her son's wheels and axels. Also, her 8 yr old dd had a car that that was a beautiful work of art as mom is extremely crafty. But so crafty, obviously dd didn't do it; and of course her dd won in that department.

We MADE our dd do her wheels and axels, sand it, paint it, come up with the car idea...all of it or we don't run it. Annoying, I know.

Sheri
03-28-2011, 10:24 AM
Frustrating isn't it?!

Where I work I see parents doing their kids reports at least a few times a week.

KarenF
03-28-2011, 11:02 AM
That's annoying and the sad thing is, the kids soon figure out who really won the race, science fair, etc. So many of my traditional schooling friends talk about "I have to do a science fair project." Um, YOU do? You're still in the fifth grade? hmmmmmm

Nedra
03-28-2011, 11:02 AM
Feeling your pain.

My oldest went to school for K and I will never forget the end of the year soap box derby. The kids were supposed to make some kind of car out of a box and do the work on their own. There were many kids whose box-cars looked like they were made my professionals. Those were the kids that won the best car awards of course. :unsure:

Robin H in VA
03-28-2011, 11:23 AM
These are the reasons I would prefer my ds not participate in things, even at church. :sad:

After that first car show ds was sooo dissapointed and I would rather he not do another one, but he wanted to. He started his models this year but didn't get everything done in time so we didn't go.

I just hate that other families cheat to get things. I hate that they are showing their kids that this is how you do things, very upsetting and troubling. :unsure: :sad:

Gitel in nj
03-28-2011, 11:40 AM
This is my BIGGEST pet peeve with the cub scouts pine wood derby. Some dads, and moms get very competitive regarding their cars. It is supposed to be a father-son activity. They are supposed to work on it together, dad doing the cutting, kid sanding, painting, etc... My boys cars never do great, but except for the cutting, the boys do the work.

If you could see my boy's cars vs some of the other cars.... It is hysterical to pretend that the boys did the work.

Frankly, it is this way regarding every competition in cub scouts. Pinewood derby, cake decorating contest, rain gutter regatta, and must about everything else. We recently did a cake contest with the boys. Steve gathered them around them table, they all cracked eggs and measured ingredients, and ran the mixer. When the cakes were done, they were given lots of different candies, colored icing, and given a general idea of what to do. They did the decorating 100% alone. They did well, but it of course looked childish.

When we arrived for the contest.... All the other cakes were unbelievable. Like the final exams in a cake decorating master class. One other cake was obviously done by the child. Our boys were embarrassed by their cakes. I decided then NO more of these things. If they cannot be fair, I am not entering my kids in the contests.

Ok. Off my soapbox!!!

Ester--we have been there as well. There is a fine line between help and advice and actually doing. I would often suggest things for my son on his projects and yes early on I would cut and glue at his direction, but he was the director, I was just the hands (for things that little ones have problems with, not for painting or decorating cakes etc, he did that on his own). We always talked about how it was the process not the winning that was important. As he got older he would do more and more--including working with exacto knives and hot glue guns. We actually let him do these things under our direction pretty early--maybe 8 or 9, and then completely phased ourselves out. I think because we did much of this kind of learning step by step he is very adept at putting projects together and is incredibly meticulous ( at this point more than I would ever be)

Which leads me to the point of this. My son just finished his Eagle Scout project write up about 2 weeks ago. There were several design drawings in the proposal that my son did ENTIRELY on his own (remember he has grown up with an Architect mom and builder dad). His troop leader commented that it looked like he had purchased the directions. My son was almost in tears from that comment. He spent hours on those drawings, occasionally asking for help but mostly not. He actually surprised us with the quality of the outcome. The writing? Neither my DH nor I have even read it let alone helped write it. His Troop leader knows how meticulous he is and how academic, but he still felt the need to throw that little jab out there at the kid.
That said, I know for a fact (i've been told), that other people actually write their kids projects for them (and it is obvious) but no one ever comments on that.

Ester..don't pull your kids out of these competitions. That is giving up and giving in. Instead work with your boys showing them how to use the equipment, how to glue neatly, how to cut things precisely. Explain (and show) that they need to take their time in order for it to come out how they want it to. Talk about process and pride and the value of doing YOUR best--not your mom's best. It's frustrating...but it will be well worth it in the end!

Rachel Jane
03-28-2011, 11:48 AM
Sorry, Gitel. That stinks.

Nedra
03-28-2011, 11:51 AM
These are the reasons I would prefer my ds not participate in things, even at church. :sad:


:yes:

Esther-Alabama
03-28-2011, 11:53 AM
Gitel! I am appalled a leader would say that to your ds. Just mean.

And you and RJ are right about the competitions. It is a teaching moment and it will make them stronger in the end, it is just so hard to see my Paul so disappointed each time. He takes things so personally and believes me when I say his car or cake is great and it is wonderful that HE did the work. Then, his stuff looks juvenile compared to the others and he is sad and embarrassed.

Alice R
03-28-2011, 12:39 PM
we just had the Pinewood Derby at Scouts.

Same problem. Same situation. Different State.

:eyes:


Noah did everything but of course, he lost.


Alise lost to kids who had all "souped up" cars courtesy fo their older Scout brothers who knew all the tricks.

Alise painted her car pink with flowers and decorated it and followed the rules and kids won who had their brothers do it.

Alise, who is NOT bratty, came in the house and threw her car on my bed. I felt really bad for her.

I don't know what is wrong with parents. :mad:

Gitel in nj
03-28-2011, 12:56 PM
Gitel! I am appalled a leader would say that to your ds. Just mean.

And you and RJ are right about the competitions. It is a teaching moment and it will make them stronger in the end, it is just so hard to see my Paul so disappointed each time. He takes things so personally and believes me when I say his car or cake is great and it is wonderful that HE did the work. Then, his stuff looks juvenile compared to the others and he is sad and embarrassed.

Thanks RJ, Thanks Esther. It's funny, at first I took it as a compliment, kind of like "wow..what amazing work, it is so well done it looks like you bought it", but neither my DS or my DH took it that way. They both took it as the jab it was intended to be. The more I think about it the angrier I become.

Esther it makes me sad for your little Paul..but I'm sure his was great and it is wonderful that he did the work. Somehow, instead of backing down we all need to figure out how to get our kids to understand that their BEST is best enough, otherwise it is too easy for them to stop trying in every thing...school work, athletics, whatever. I think you should acknowledge his disappointment, talk about how you as a family feel about following rules--even if it means turning in a lesser product.

Also, remember it's okay to help, He can tell you what he wants and then maybe you draw a little thumbnail sketch plan for him to follow. Also, if your son is having a hard time neatly placing the decorations, maybe you do the first 10 while he watches, talking about neatness and patience. Then have him do the rest while you guide and encourage. I think that we have to teach our kids how to get projects planned and done, how to be neat and accurate. How to take time and how to use the materials...It is NOT a skill they come by naturally.

Lastly, we have to remind our kids that not everyone is going to be a great artist, baker, model maker, etc. that's okay. Just do your best, learn from the project and move on.

Anne
03-28-2011, 02:05 PM
BTDT. Both of my boys did cub scouts. The leader made a big deal about the kids doing the work themselves, then his sons car was done by a prof artist! Sickening. I didn't want to tell my kids that it was pointless to try, but it sure felt like it. We did require them to do it themselves, we were available for advice and a little help. There doesn't seem to be a good answer.

Gitel, wow, that makes me very angry. I know that when my then 14 year old son wrote a paper and read it for a presentation, some didn't think he had written it himself. Very irritating.

Chris D.
03-28-2011, 03:17 PM
Sounds like if we all lived near each other we should have an "actually do your own work" derby!
I know when I was a public school teacher some parents did do the projects for their kids, but since you couldn't "prove" it there wasn't so much you could do about those kids. What I did do was compare the work to what I saw in class and give good grades and compliments to those who clearly had done their own best work. That is to say, there were kids who really could turn in an awesome project and I knew they had the ability to do that work on their own because of their classroom performance and behavior, and there were those who turned in less pretty work but it was at the top of their own ability level and that rocked, too. I guess the hardest part is that kids still get hurt and feel bad about themselves because they can see the difference, no matter what grown ups say.
My little one asked me this morning why she got two ribbons. I explained that one was for trying (participation ribbon) and she said "Because I stuck with it, kept going and didn't get upset, I had fun and I didn't cry." I love my sweet girl. May she always have such a good attitude. :clap:

Gitel in nj
03-28-2011, 04:02 PM
What I did do was compare the work to what I saw in class and give good grades and compliments to those who clearly had done their own best work. That is to say, there were kids who really could turn in an awesome project and I knew they had the ability to do that work on their own because of their classroom performance and behavior, and there were those who turned in less pretty work but it was at the top of their own ability level and that rocked, too.

Yes, exactly. Some kids are uniquely capable and other kids are very diligent but maybe less capable, but if they both show THEIR best that's what matters. I know that over the years people think I have done my son's work, but I'm not in the classroom with him taking his tests or taking his SAT's or at Boy Scouts doing his badges or whatever and those things are all done at the same level as the projects that are done at home...


My little one asked me this morning why she got two ribbons. I explained that one was for trying (participation ribbon) and she said "Because I stuck with it, kept going and didn't get upset, I had fun and I didn't cry." I love my sweet girl. May she always have such a good attitude. :clap:

:clap: I love your sweet girls attitude. I hope you told her that was the ribbon that meant the MOST! :clap:

Gitel in nj
03-28-2011, 04:05 PM
Gitel, wow, that makes me very angry. I know that when my then 14 year old son wrote a paper and read it for a presentation, some didn't think he had written it himself. Very irritating.

uggghhh...makes you so angry doesn't it? And usually the ones complaining are the ones who helped their kids anyway!

Alice R
03-28-2011, 05:53 PM
Gitel, he was just jealous.
That comment sounded like a high school girl.

One my friends is in a troop in a wealthier area and he had his son actually DO the car. His son was mortified when they showed up. The kids had professionally done cars. The parents said to my friend "didn't you know, you hire someone, I'll give you the phone number of the guy who does them so next year you have a good car"

So people make a business of this now?

Just hire someone to do your work?

I think this is a symptom of a much larger problem. Take no responsibility for anything yourself and just hire, cheat or borrow what you need.

Rachel Jane
03-28-2011, 05:58 PM
That is truly sad, Alice. I am deeply grieved by it.

Heather W
03-28-2011, 07:29 PM
I see this a lot as a Coach for JrFLL (first lego league). Teams that obviously have adult help in research and posters, etc.

Makes me :crazy:!!

Heather W
03-28-2011, 07:31 PM
That is truly sad, Alice. I am deeply grieved by it.

:yes: what I hate is the kids feel good about their work until they enter a situation in which kids did NOT do the their own work.

It's so sad.

And because I am the adult facilitator, it makes me get anxious about what other kids will say to them.

One year we had a kid come up to the teams and say is that all you did?

In the next level up if a judge had heard it, his team would have been disqualified.

Gracious professionalism is of the utmost importance to FLL.

Still...it's not cool when the level of work is obviously an adult's. Sigh...

laurie in ok
03-28-2011, 11:20 PM
This is a huge pet peeve of mine!!! My kids do their own work - and it makes me so mad for their best to be compared to the best of some adult. GRRRRR.

Gitel - I would have a hard time not calling that Troop leader and giving him a piece of my mind. :group:

Kendall in GA
04-01-2011, 01:15 PM
This is a huge pet peeve of mine!!! My kids do their own work - and it makes me so mad for their best to be compared to the best of some adult. GRRRRR.



Ditto; BUT, I don't get too upset or get my panties in a wad. IMO, parents really do their dc a disservice when they do the work for them. Frankly, I see it as the other dc's loss. It's always a great teachable moment for my dc and I figure that my dc learned/benefited the most from the experience. :D (Also, sometimes I don't really care about the other kids. :blush: :blush: :blush: )

Esther-Alabama
04-01-2011, 01:22 PM
(Also, sometimes I don't really care about the other kids. :blush: :blush: :blush: )

:roflol::roflol::roflol::roflol::roflol:

Kendall in GA
04-01-2011, 01:24 PM
:roflol::roflol::roflol::roflol::roflol:

I'm glad that you got a good laugh...I'm just keeping it real! :perplex:

Esther-Alabama
04-01-2011, 01:46 PM
Really NOT laughing AT you at all. I just love how honest you are and how you say what I am thinking a lot!!

Robin H in VA
04-11-2011, 08:54 AM
Had to come back to this thread.

Ds church did their derby car race on March 23 and ds was sooooo unhappy. For one thing he didn't win (I had time to prepare him for this and with his AS, I was upset that he was upset). Two someone had drilled holes all through his car and several other cars of the younger kids. :angry: When he got home he was so upset that he wanted to burn his car and the ribbon they gave him for participating. :cry:

I tried to talk to one of his teachers this past week to let her know that when they are going to do something like this, they need to let me know so that I can talk to him before anything happens. She just kinda smiled and said he would be fine. :sad:

Rachel Jane
04-11-2011, 08:58 AM
I don't get it. Why were holes drilled through the cars? Heck, my guys would be upset and they aren't on the spectrum. *I* would be upset.

I am so sorry that the church worker doesn't understand your DS needs.

WendyW
04-11-2011, 09:05 AM
I don't get it. Why were holes drilled through the cars? Heck, my guys would be upset and they aren't on the spectrum. *I* would be upset.


It's possible that the car was overweight, and they drilled out from the bottom to remove excess wood. This is what our club does, too. This possibility should have been forewarned in the rule sheet they hopefully included with the car kits.

Rachel Jane
04-11-2011, 09:10 AM
Thanks Wendy. That makes sense. I would still want to know ahead of time.

Robin H in VA
04-11-2011, 09:30 AM
It's possible that the car was overweight, and they drilled out from the bottom to remove excess wood. This is what our club does, too. This possibility should have been forewarned in the rule sheet they hopefully included with the car kits.

This could be, but I have no idea because I didn't even know they were builing the cars or doing any kind of race. :unsure:

His car has one hole drilled all the way through and then there are like 6 other holes that are over half way thought the body of the car, only about a centimeter or less between each hole. Is this 'normal'. :sad:

Debbie W
04-11-2011, 10:47 AM
Ditto; BUT, I don't get too upset or get my panties in a wad. IMO, parents really do their dc a disservice when they do the work for them. Frankly, I see it as the other dc's loss. It's always a great teachable moment for my dc and I figure that my dc learned/benefited the most from the experience. :D (Also, sometimes I don't really care about the other kids. :blush: :blush: :blush: )

Ummm Yeah what you said.......even to the last comment. :lol: Besides it sure uses up a lot of energy worrying about something you can't change.

Dawn Gilmore
04-11-2011, 11:33 AM
This could be, but I have no idea because I didn't even know they were builing the cars or doing any kind of race. :unsure:

His car has one hole drilled all the way through and then there are like 6 other holes that are over half way thought the body of the car, only about a centimeter or less between each hole. Is this 'normal'. :sad:

They should NEVER have drilled all the way through the car. :no: Little holes drilled up from the bottom to lose weight is typical, that way the look of the car isn't affected, just the weight. In the future, you can avoid this, if you make sure the car is right at the right weight before you let him take it in. (Did they send the kit home for you all to build it, together?) The usual weight is 5 oz. We have a digital kitchen scale, and we always make sure the kids cars are at the right weight before they go in. Lead weights to make them heavier, or drilling them out a bit to make them lighter, depending on the car.

Robin H in VA
04-11-2011, 12:02 PM
They should NEVER have drilled all the way through the car. :no: Little holes drilled up from the bottom to lose weight is typical, that way the look of the car isn't affected, just the weight. In the future, you can avoid this, if you make sure the car is right at the right weight before you let him take it in. (Did they send the kit home for you all to build it, together?) The usual weight is 5 oz. We have a digital kitchen scale, and we always make sure the kids cars are at the right weight before they go in. Lead weights to make them heavier, or drilling them out a bit to make them lighter, depending on the car.

All the holes were drilled into the TOP of the car, not the bottom, just one goes all the way through and whom ever did messed up the drawing that ds did on top of the car (that was another reason he was so upset).

Like I said, I didn't even know they were doing this, not until a week before they raced and ds didn't go on that day and that is when he told me about the car and that he hoped that they weren't racing that night. They didn't. It was the following week.

Only 'certain' kids were allowed to take their cars home, the older kids (not teens) tweens I guess. Ds is 9, so all the other kids that got to take theirs home were like 12-14 years old.

Dawn Gilmore
04-11-2011, 04:08 PM
All the holes were drilled into the TOP of the car, not the bottom, just one goes all the way through and whom ever did messed up the drawing that ds did on top of the car (that was another reason he was so upset).

Like I said, I didn't even know they were doing this, not until a week before they raced and ds didn't go on that day and that is when he told me about the car and that he hoped that they weren't racing that night. They didn't. It was the following week.

Only 'certain' kids were allowed to take their cars home, the older kids (not teens) tweens I guess. Ds is 9, so all the other kids that got to take theirs home were like 12-14 years old.

That's awful. They should NEVER drill into the top of the car. :angry: I wonder if they only let the 12-14 year olds take theirs home, because they feel like those are the only ones who could actually complete them on their own :unsure: trying to prevent the parents from doing all the work on the younger kids cars...

Robin H in VA
04-11-2011, 04:59 PM
That's awful. They should NEVER drill into the top of the car. :angry: I wonder if they only let the 12-14 year olds take theirs home, because they feel like those are the only ones who could actually complete them on their own :unsure: trying to prevent the parents from doing all the work on the younger kids cars...

I don't know, but I think if they are going to let one take theirs home then all of them should be able to. :sad: Next year I am going to know ahead of time. I mean this is a small church, not a lot of kids, so you think that everything would be pretty fair. :unsure:

KristenS
04-11-2011, 05:36 PM
Which leads me to the point of this. My son just finished his Eagle Scout project write up about 2 weeks ago. There were several design drawings in the proposal that my son did ENTIRELY on his own (remember he has grown up with an Architect mom and builder dad). His troop leader commented that it looked like he had purchased the directions. My son was almost in tears from that comment. He spent hours on those drawings, occasionally asking for help but mostly not. He actually surprised us with the quality of the outcome. The writing? Neither my DH nor I have even read it let alone helped write it. His Troop leader knows how meticulous he is and how academic, but he still felt the need to throw that little jab out there at the kid.
That said, I know for a fact (i've been told), that other people actually write their kids projects for them (and it is obvious) but no one ever comments on that.


So totally sympathize. DH still hurts over an essay competition way back ... it was for a Space Camp scholarship or some such ... he did 'too well' and they all thought he cheated ... he only knows because his dad knew someone on the judging committee and they told him that otherwise he would've won. The cheaters ruin it for everyone.

In our scout pack, we work on the regatta boats during a pack meeting, and the cars over a couple meetings. The finish-up work is done at home, and there are families who definitely go above and beyond ... but at least the boys actually see the boys working on the projects. For the cars, one dad brings his power something or other saw for the main shape cutting, and the dads all do them together ... based on the kids' input. So at least they are all on the same start point, if they want to be. Of course, we're also a small pack, so we can manage this.

((Hugs)) to everyone who's had to deal with this. It's crazy.

April Marie
04-12-2011, 02:02 AM
This is my BIGGEST pet peeve with the cub scouts pine wood derby. Some dads, and moms get very competitive regarding their cars. It is supposed to be a father-son activity. They are supposed to work on it together, dad doing the cutting, kid sanding, painting, etc... My boys cars never do great, but except for the cutting, the boys do the work.

If you could see my boy's cars vs some of the other cars.... It is hysterical to pretend that the boys did the work.

Frankly, it is this way regarding every competition in cub scouts. Pinewood derby, cake decorating contest, rain gutter regatta, and must about everything else. We recently did a cake contest with the boys. Steve gathered them around them table, they all cracked eggs and measured ingredients, and ran the mixer. When the cakes were done, they were given lots of different candies, colored icing, and given a general idea of what to do. They did the decorating 100% alone. They did well, but it of course looked childish.

When we arrived for the contest.... All the other cakes were unbelievable. Like the final exams in a cake decorating master class. One other cake was obviously done by the child. Our boys were embarrassed by their cakes. I decided then NO more of these things. If they cannot be fair, I am not entering my kids in the contests.

Ok. Off my soapbox!!!

this was EXACTLY our experience several years ago with my oldest (in alaska)!
what a JOKE!

we joined a few years late so we had no idea
we almost PASSED OUT when we saw the other cakes
and here was my son's cake that he'd lovingly worked so hard on all.by.himself. that looked amateurish (as it SHOULD!)

UNBELIEVABLE!
(pine wood derby - same thing, only the dads were basking in the glory rather than the moms)

we didn't do any more after awhile either
they were NOT children's contests, so what was the point?
(although my cake would have been the most amateurish of all :lol:)