View Full Version : How to approach special needs..

04-05-2011, 10:28 AM
My dd (9) has some issues with ADD and possibly autism. We have not had her go to a specialist yet. She is quirky and fun and so far it has not hindered her making friends and with homeschooling, I am able to adapt to her learning needs. Until now.
She is in dance class and was called down (somewhat harshly) for not being able to pay attention. She was not talking or acting up, she just didnt stay in time with the other girls and the teacher kept making the whole class start the dance over "because of Esther". She came out of class crying.

It was the first time she has ever been aware she is "different" than the other girls and now this morning she is crying because she keeps getting distracted from her schoolwork and cant get it done and she isnt "normal".

It breaks my heart because she is so fun loving and easy going and free spirited and for the past 24 hours she has been almost depressed. SO unlike her. Even her older sister said she was worried about Essie because she wasnt acting like Essie. :(

I guess my question is...should I let it go with the dance teacher? Should I go into details with Esther? Is it time for an evaluation? I so dislike labels that I have hesitated to go to a specialist. My education degree has a minor in special needs ,so I basically know she has them and I have researched a lot on teaching her. I just am unsure about how to handle the social aspect of it now.

Chalane (FL)
04-18-2011, 08:55 PM
Been away from the boards, so I'm just seeing this. I would speak to the teacher, she may not be aware of how much being called out can/did effect your dd.

Personally, I would get an evaluation. I do like knowing exactly what I'm dealing with. I knew Leighton has autism for three years before the official dx. It does help others take the issue more seriously if you can say that dd has officially been dx.

Hope things are going better for both of you.:group:

Leslie Nelsen
04-19-2011, 12:29 AM
Just seeing this too. I'm so sorry! :group: :group:

That makes my heart just hurt for Esther! :( It also makes me really angry that her teacher did this to her! What a poor example for all of the other children to see as well. :( I would agree that talking with the teacher would be a good thing. She probably had no idea how her harsh words affected Esther. Hopefully it will help her rethink the way that she treats the children in the class.

As for evaluations, I find it helpful to get one. I understand about not wanting a label, but I don't really see it as a means of labeling your child, but more as a tool to help you understand how to best help your child. :group: It's a hard decision to make I know. You are a great mama!

Sue C
04-19-2011, 09:47 AM
:sad: I am also just seeing this. I would talk to the teacher for sure, what she did was out of line. As for the label, I don't think any of us like them but it sure helps others be able to understand our children better. My daughter knows she has Aspergers and because of that she understands why some things might be harder or impossible for her. She also knows that because of the Aspergers that is why she excels in some areas. Esther has her own gifts too, I think she needs to know where she might struggle and where she excels, even if she needs a 'label'. Hope all is better. :group:

05-05-2011, 12:42 AM
I would find a new dance teacher. That was just wrong how the teacher handled it!

As for an evaluation, I would only get one for you to understand how to deal with it. I would not share the results with your dd.