View Full Version : what are your expectations for a graduated student..

04-17-2011, 10:00 PM
who is still living at home.
This is my 17yo dd(turns 18 in Sept.), who will graduate later this month. she will be enrolled in an online college program, working part-time,etc.

what are your expectations?

paying rent?
car use/expenses,etc?
helping around the house?

I haven't really had this experience yet, since my oldest moved out soon after she graduated. This dd plans to live at home until she is finished with college and/or gets married. We are fine with that, as long as she doesnt' take advantage, which from past experience shouldn't be an issue.

04-17-2011, 11:05 PM
No rent.
Use car when convenient until she can buy one-she will pay half of the cost of the car and we'll pay half. She has banked most of her part time pay since she started her job.

Her income is to give her spending money.

Her JOB is to keep her scholarship in school and for us to make that as easy as possible. Now, if she has too much free time and money then we will encourage better uses for both.

She'll be living on campus half the week (school is here in town but mandatory the first year). When home she'll take care of her laundry and room and help with meal prep and clean up.

Carol S
04-17-2011, 11:11 PM
If they are truly studying and also working part-time, I personally wouldn't ask her to contribute to household expenses. Car expenses would be another matter. If she is using a vehicle you share, then I'd just negotiate something reasonable based on how much money she's making.

I probably wouldn't require her to do much more around the house than she already does unless she doesn't know how to cook yet or something like that or unless she's not contributing at all. I'd be aiming any additional household chores at life skills she still needs to develop. I would want to be able to see that she's going to be able to run her own place in a few years, but I would want her to consider school her main job.

Shannon P
04-18-2011, 12:00 AM
My son does not pay rent as long as he is in college. He does not have a part time job because I want his time to be available for study or for other activities that may lend well to a resume.

The other side is that we minimize expenses. DS does not have a driver's license, let alone having a car. So our expenses are less without these costs. We pay for his bus passes to college and he rides his bike. We will eventually pay for his insurance so he can have a license, but if he wants a car he will have to get a job to pay for it. We pay for his classes at a community college but he will have to pay when he transfers to a university.

He still has regular chores around the house.

This is just us, and it wouldn't work for everyone.

Colleen OH
04-18-2011, 02:52 AM
So far we have 3 that are 18 and older. So far none of them have wanted to go to college and none of them have really pursued jobs working for other people.

When ours have hit 18 we basically keep paying their expenses and give them a little money/month. BUT....our situation is a little different. We have a home business and a big family to help out with besides.

Our boys have both wanted to be self employed and we've been able to help both of them get started with little expense on their part (we've let them start up rent free, with free use of tools/equipment/computer/whatever they needed that we have)----sort of like some parents pay for their children's college educations and let them keep living at home instead of living on campus. I guess in our situation giving them those options is like what college is to some other families. With that, we've expected that they pull their weight around the place because none of that has come cheap! (In your case, Amy, I would probably at least expect her to be respectful and pitch in with some housework and such).

Thankfully our 3 oldest have just kept being helpful and respectful, so it's not been a big issue. If they would've chosen to pursue a job elsewhere, not help out here at home and/or been disruptive to the family, we probably would've restructured the arrangement.

Our goal is/has been to have them stay at home until they get married. I know this may not be what actually happens with all of my children, but I've been happy with the way it's worked out with the 3 oldest so far.

Rachel Jane
04-18-2011, 07:18 AM
We are just two years out from this, but here is our plan:

paying rent? Yes, a very small amount, but I will save it until he gets a place of his own or starts a business (he does not know this).
car use/expenses,etc? We provide a car until he can pay for his own. He pays for his insurance and/or gas.
helping around the house? I will expect the child adult to do his own laundry and clean up after himself after meals and in the bathroom and any other common area. He is required to do this now and that wont change.

I have a real issue with freeloaders. If the child adult is unable to get a job, he will pick up more of the house maintenance things and prepare meals and such. He will work either here or be bringing money into the household. Sorry if I sound like a hard nose in this area. I have my reasons. IMO, real love is teaching them how the real world works. I will be reasonable and help out during a tough school week or a tight month, but in general, the above plan will stand.