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View Full Version : child training tips when you have a SN child?



AmyinWI
10-01-2011, 11:37 PM
this is something I've been wondering about and was curious how other parents deal with it.
My G is very active, he is moving almost constantly!!! He is often noisy ,too. He makes a lot of throaty, gurgling or purring noises and repetitive sounds.

I feel that we should start teaching him to sit for short periods of time (kind of like blanket trainng if you're familiar with that) so we can get him used to sitting through at least part of the church service.
DH doesnt' think G is capable of it yet. I dont' know if he is or isn't... and honestly sometimes I think we baby him because is the smallest one in the family (also small in stature for a 4yo) and because of his special needs we do coddle him a bit. :) So this has been a big topic of discussion for dh and I lately.

Also, lately he is starting to get into mischief,too. things like crawling up on tables, knocking things off the counter, grabbing in drawers to pull things out (things like silverware or other objects he doens't need to play with).

How do you discipline a child that has a lower level of understanding? He is cognitively impaired (probably a 9-12 mth old level by now, but we need to get him tested again),and autistic on top of that.
It's hard to know if he understands "no" or not. We try to be firm with "no" and signing it,too.Then distract him from whatever he is doing. He does seem to respond better to dh than I . Maybe the deeper voice has something to do with it?
any suggestions for how to deal with negative behaviors?

Kellie in NE
10-02-2011, 07:51 AM
Amy-I know exactly what you are saying. This is one thing we struggle with as well. How to know if they know what they are doing is wrong and needs to be punished and when to give them a little grace because of who they are. We simply do the best that we can here and use time-out as punishment. She does seem to understand time outs but like every child it is all about consistency. We also have a lot of trouble with her climbing on things and we do punish here for this-it is more for her safety here.

As for sitting my little girl is in constant motion. We got a timer that has a red line that shows the time counting down. We use it for reading and other activities. We tell her that she to sit here and listen to the story until the timer goes off.This seems to work for us but she does not give you anymore time than that. When that timer is done-she is gone!

:group:

Hollie in SC
10-02-2011, 07:52 PM
:group: Amy, it is hard. When Noah was younger, we often did as we would have a toddler--redirecting, telling him no and moving him from the situation, etc.

His first 5 years were rather exhausting. I think we had a new babyproofing project every week. The prolonged toddlerhood is a real challenge.:group:

At school they used time out, but I know they often had to sit with him. I think it was often more of a break and calm downtime for him than "punishment".

I will say that he is soooo much calmer now. I think his age and consistency with routines and boundaries as well as good structure at his school and at church helped.

Noah is a major creature of habit. If he knows the routine, then he responds soooo much better. At 7, he adapts more quickly to the routines. In the past few weeks has even sat through several church services...hmmm....better than my ADHD 13yo does sometimes. ;)

:group: :group:

AmyinWI
10-02-2011, 11:15 PM
:group: Amy, it is hard. When Noah was younger, we often did as we would have a toddler--redirecting, telling him no and moving him from the situation, etc.

His first 5 years were rather exhausting. I think we had a new babyproofing project every week. The prolonged toddlerhood is a real challenge.:group:

At school they used time out, but I know they often had to sit with him. I think it was often more of a break and calm downtime for him than "punishment".

I will say that he is soooo much calmer now. I think his age and consistency with routines and boundaries as well as good structure at his school and at church helped.

Noah is a major creature of habit. If he knows the routine, then he responds soooo much better. At 7, he adapts more quickly to the routines. In the past few weeks has even sat through several church services...hmmm....better than my ADHD 13yo does sometimes. ;)

:group: :group:
thanks, Holly. It's encouraging to know your son is responding better now that he is older. I guess I don't know any other DS kids that are G's age. The ones I know are older, and very calm. G is NOT. He is like the energizer bunny, always goooooing!
Would you say Noah was like that at an earlier age? It's so hard for me to tell what is the DS and what is autism (or just G's personality?)
He definitely sits in a chair for longer periods than he used to,for example, at church... but once the music in church stops, he wants to get up and run away... :)

AmyinWI
10-02-2011, 11:17 PM
Amy-I know exactly what you are saying. This is one thing we struggle with as well. How to know if they know what they are doing is wrong and needs to be punished and when to give them a little grace because of who they are. We simply do the best that we can here and use time-out as punishment. She does seem to understand time outs but like every child it is all about consistency. We also have a lot of trouble with her climbing on things and we do punish here for this-it is more for her safety here.

As for sitting my little girl is in constant motion. We got a timer that has a red line that shows the time counting down. We use it for reading and other activities. We tell her that she to sit here and listen to the story until the timer goes off.This seems to work for us but she does not give you anymore time than that. When that timer is done-she is gone!

:group:

great idea about the timer. I don' t think G will understand that at this point, but hopefully in the future.

As far as climbing on things , I've been trying really hard to be consistant, signing "sit down" and when he actually listens (which is pretty rare) I get very excited and praise him . He responds really well to that, which I think is a good sign. It's just exhausting some days when he's in a climbing mood, seems I can't get a thing done!

Christi in OH
10-03-2011, 05:35 AM
One thing I always try to keep in mind is the behavior something you will want to see at a later age. I also try to keep in mind that Veronica is more like a typical kid than not. She needs boundaries and expectations from her just like the other kids. My younger son reminds me of that when he has a job and Veronica does not. ;). I also know we have babies her she is the princess and there is so much that she can do if give the time and a chance.

Veronica has calmed down a lot and is doing much better she is 8 1/2 and can now walk with us shopping in some stores and does well on classes alone. It does take longer tommove through stages. I'm not looking forward to the teen years. ;)

Good luck. I'll keep you guys in my prayers.

Hollie in SC
10-03-2011, 07:50 AM
thanks, Holly. It's encouraging to know your son is responding better now that he is older. I guess I don't know any other DS kids that are G's age. The ones I know are older, and very calm. G is NOT. He is like the energizer bunny, always goooooing!
Would you say Noah was like that at an earlier age? It's so hard for me to tell what is the DS and what is autism (or just G's personality?)
He definitely sits in a chair for longer periods than he used to,for example, at church... but once the music in church stops, he wants to get up and run away... :)

We have often said that Noah makes the energizer bunny look lazy. Does that help? ;) :lol:

I do forget at times (like last night) that G is dealing with a dual diagnosis. I'm sure that will make everything more challenging. I would think that the way he is is just a combo of how God has uniquely made him and the issues he is dealing with.

I will say, though, that Noah really has settled a TON since he turned 5yo and that has been a huge blessing. At school, they mentioned it often--that he had really settled down a lot in the last year or so. :group:

mariah m
11-15-2011, 02:16 PM
Aahh...we're still waiting for Nicolas (10) to settle :lol::roflol: I think he's out of the prolonged toddler stage but now his mischief is more intentional. We had a behaviorist assistant for three hours a day for three months and that helped. Some of his problems were created by us...he got babied too much and the overall pandemonium of a loud family of six.

We still have to deal with the flop and drop occasionally but I have gotten better on the follow through and he responds to me better now. I think kids with DS have similar behavior issues - motivated by desire for attention and escape coupled with communication/speech problems. They need structure (which we're not too good at here) and firm boundaries.

Nicolas does love to help and it is often easy to redirect him that way.