View Full Version : Son possibly Asperger's

12-26-2011, 06:53 AM
Hi all, I have 3 children. DS1(5.5) has Asperger's traits. DS2(3.5) and DD1(1.5) have no issues. DS1 loves books and has always loved books which is why I chose to do FIAR because through books I feel like I can connect with him, do you know what i mean? I don't feel like I can get into his world or he get into mine in many other ways. He is pretty bad with communication, but if i mention the Mallards when we see ducks, or Mike Mulligan when we see a digger etc, there is recognition in his eyes and he understands and we're on the same page! We had him formally tested a year ago, and the very very good paediatrician said that he wasn't on the autism spectrum. However, despite the diagnosis I am convinced there is some problem somewhere. He has bad eye contact and his social skills are poor. I have cried and cried and cried about this, especially when it is made obvious when we're around other children that he is not like them. He is imaginative and inventive and very focused and has so many positive traits, however I'm finding conversation a really hard thing to do with him.

For those of you with children who aren't conversational, how do you do FIAR? I need some ideas - because he's not really reading or writing, we don't do a lot of bookwork or hands on stuff, so I thought i'd just do FIAR conversationally, but it's not a 2 way conversation. I do point things out to him, and try to talk about the points mentioned in the manual, but I feel like I'm getting no feedback. I guess the solution is to perservere. It is such hard work. I know he's soaking some of it in - the other day after we had talked about Pointillism in Very last first time, he pointed out a picture in another book to me and talked about the dots and how when you put it far away you see a picture but close up there are dots. Which must have come from my talk about Pointillism, but these instances are few and far between. Most times it's just him sitting there and listening. He's not good at answering questions, and it's hard to get him to discuss or narrate. What do I do? Sorry if this post sounds a bit desperate - I'm feeling really vulnerable after the holiday season with in laws who are not understanding or patient

12-26-2011, 09:17 AM
First of all, welcome to the boards!

Second, let me say, This is the hardest time of the year for many special kids, diagnosed or not and I understand how hard that can be.

And third, let me say, I also understand teaching a child that has difficulty socially, does not communicate easily, and Is too young for a lot of printed work.

My advice, slow down and breathe. He is very, very young still and a boy. My boys are 13, 9, and 8. My oldest son is very outgoing and talkative. But during our school time, getting him to discuss a topic or narrate to me was a real learning process for him and me. Then my second ds, forget it. He is introverted and very quiet, thinks for a long time before speaking and often speaks haltingly, so people tend to jump in and talk for him (older brother's especially!). Our last ds is also talkative and will talk for an hour about his new karate moves and sparring matches, but when asked to narrate....I get short choppy answers.

Narration and discussion need to be learned. It is hard for little boys especially. Boys are doers, not feelers. When I ask them to write a paragraph recently, the topic was, "pretend you are in the Tennessee militia. Write about how it feels to be a part of this group." Three blank stares and lots of delaying followed. Finally, I hit myself and changed the topic to,"You are an 18 yr old living in Tennessee. You join the militia to fight in the civil war. Tell me about the weapons you use and describe a particular battle you fought.". They all started writing and drawing weapons and battle scenes.

Again, 5.5 is so very young still. Plus he is a boy. Plus he has difficulty communicating. Hands on doesn't need to be a producing written work. For Mike Mulligan, you could make a machine from Legos or tinker toys and let him tell you what the machine does for work. You can read a book about an invention that changed the way something was done, like the steam engine and do an experiment with steam moving a pinwheel.....or build a steam powered putt putt boat. Give him a pencil with an eraser, paint, and paper and let him produce a picture using the technique of pointillism.

Narration needs to be learned and do not come easily. Prompt him with direct questions and clues. It never comes easily to some.

And lastly, Take him where he is and move from there. Be patient and know that he is not like all other children, but he is exactly who God made him to be and you were made to be his mother.

12-26-2011, 10:27 AM
My Ds loves learning by watching videos. We either use television or live streaming off the internet. Now that he's older we used a computer based learning system for him. He doesn't like computer learning games, but does like online instruction. He also really enjoy short non-fiction reading comprehension texts. I purchased some Remedia Publications materials but he also likes the 1 page worksheets from abcteach.com. History museums, stores with unique items, art galleries and other visual places are also great ways for my Ds to learn about different topics. Anything visual he soaks right up.

DD in IL
12-28-2011, 08:09 PM
I just wanted to add one thing concerning videos...many of the FIAR books are on videos which could be a way to further them. I have gotten some from Scholastic and TJ Max often has them as well as some of the teacher's stores. They are the books with someone reading them (narrating) and some movement. My dgc love them; there are other stories on them too. You are apparently getting through my seeing him light up.