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Carol S
01-03-2012, 08:06 AM
I find that when I walk through the store and notice normal teen-aged boys, that's when I tend to get an emotional hit. What's a go-to line I can tell myself instead of imagining what it would be like to have a normal 16 year old boy?

Rachel Jane
01-03-2012, 08:23 AM
I find that when I walk through the store and notice normal teen-aged boys, that's when I tend to get an emotional hit. What's a go-to line I can tell myself instead of imagining what it would be like to have a normal 16 year old boy?

No one gets a perfect life. :group:


What we see isn't the entire picture, Y'know? Everyone has or will have sorrows.

:group: to you. I know you are grieving for what you wished could have been. God isn't done yet. As my DH says, "I've read the book. We win."

Esther-Alabama
01-03-2012, 08:56 AM
Spent Thanksgiving with my cousins son. He was so polite and well mannered. My sisters son was mean spirited and difficult the WHOLE time we were there. My sister lamented how she wished her ds would be more like my cousins child.

Found out yesterday that cousins son has been sent to rehab for drugs.

My sister's ds is starting his second semester in college. He is also FINALLY admitting he needs some help with emotional health and they have sought help for him again.

It is NOT as it seems sometimes.

Nobody is normal.

Cori
01-03-2012, 09:22 AM
I agree, people are not as they seem.

"Everyone has a cross to bare." or is it "bear" ???

That go-to really helped me during my miscarriages. My body just was not working properly and it was my cross to bear. I started wearing a cross around my neck as a symbol of hope. I wear it nearly all the time to this day, and our childbearing troubles started 12 years ago. Much of that time, I felt alone since it was my body that wasn't working properly and my babies were dying because of it.

My friend who gave me this idea has diabetes since she was 2 years old, and that is her cross to bear.

I don't recall any threads about your son, so I don't know what is going on. I don't know if it is a permanent affliction, or something he needs to work through.

I will pray strength, understanding, grace and healing.

ETA: And I know some people use "cross to bear" to sound like a martyr. But I mean it as something we endure with hope and promise for the future because Jesus endured and look who he is to us... You know? ((((hugs)))) And I didn't feel so sorry for myself, so abnormal, even if I didn't know anyone else going through that many losses... it gave me strength.

Ginger Lynn
01-03-2012, 09:26 AM
My go to is "God knows."

He knows what we are thinking when we see others.
He knows the trouble we have with our DS.
He knows how I wish is was different.
He knows my heart.
He knows what is best for my DS.
He knows what I can handle.
He knows, He knows, He knows....

Let us know what you come up with please!

shonda in ca
01-03-2012, 10:49 AM
As my DH says, "I've read the book. We win."

Wow, made me catch my breath.

I guess what I say to myself is, "Everyone has something. Everyone has a battle to wage."

But the reality is, I don't say that. I just get sad, too.

amanda b
01-03-2012, 11:13 AM
I totally understand. Our just turned 3 yr old is non-verba, non-mobile, has a seizure disorder, mitochondrial disease, hypoglycemia, is tube fed & blind, and more....
my nephew is just a few months older than him and when he comes over to play it is bittersweet- I love my nephew and he is adorable.... but it breaks my heart to see him next to my son who will never be able to play, or hold a toy, or walk or talk...

Lisalyn
01-03-2012, 05:12 PM
Oh, Carol. :group:

I don't think there is any such thing as 'normal'. Truly.

Laura F
01-05-2012, 07:25 AM
Carol, may I share a lighthearted moment with you? I think you might appreciate the humor in the conversation I overheard between my middle dd, who has been diabetic since she was 3, and my little nephew, who has some motor delays.

We were walking to a nearby playground and Owen, age 3, was frustrated that my oldest dd was running too fast for him to keep up with her. That's when Sarah, my middle dd, told him that God makes all of us different. She told him that her pancreas doesn't work and she wears an insulin pump. Then she told him that Grace has to take medicine every day "because her brain doesn't work either." (Grace has ADD.) :roflol: I was too stunned by their conversation to add anything helpful myself. ;)

JennyO
01-05-2012, 10:55 PM
It's true! Everyone has something going on. I know you're feelings are real. They are real to the Lord. He knows your heart and he weeps with you and stores every tear shed.

But, I too have been *shocked* when I gather with other moms. We have our own struggles, so I am not finger pointing.;) I am so busy with my family, I hardly have time to notice what is going on with others. I always assume things are going so well. But, just recently, I have both seen and heard from other moms of "typical" kids their struggles. I hate to say this, but I'd take my loving, non-verbal daughter's hugs and kisses any day over what one mom has had to deal with her seemingly happy and "normal" child. It would break my heart to go thru what she has with her 9 year old daughter in a Christian home (that is SO young.) Another mom I know has all bright and active kids, but she is having a horrible time with their attitudes. I am not for sure what is going on, but it's seeping out into public and it's been so on-going...never ending. My kids are just like any other kids...imperfect. But, I do thank the Lord for them!

I know how you feel though. I have moments where I feel that I have been hit broad-side with the reality of my daughter's disability. She is 11, in a diaper, the size of a 5 year old and nonverbal. BUT...she is so incredibly sweet. And while my friends are dealing with these big girl issues with their kids, I am just NOT. And I do thank the Lord. It's still hard and a mixture of emotions. But, I know we love our kids so much!

Alice R
01-07-2012, 01:49 PM
:group:

It's very hard and I'm sorry for your pain.

Life can be incredibly painful sometimes.

Oney
01-07-2012, 09:45 PM
:group:

ChristyJoy
01-26-2012, 01:27 PM
I find that when I walk through the store and notice normal teen-aged boys, that's when I tend to get an emotional hit. What's a go-to line I can tell myself instead of imagining what it would be like to have a normal 16 year old boy?

As the mother of a 17ds with Downs and a typical 15ds, I have to say, there are days when I wish my typical boy was more like my special boy - more hugs and smiles and less attitude and sass. Prev. posters were right when they said you can't see the whole picture.

Sometimes, I do better with a go-to song - it sticks with me longer. "It Will Be Worth It All," is a great one. Another is, "Does Jesus care?" Maybe you can come up with a better one for your feelings, but those seem to put it into perspective for me.