View Full Version : Modesty?

Christi in OH
08-16-2012, 07:20 AM
Anyone have any tips for helping with teaching modesty? I don't mean making good clothing choices. I mean keeping clothes on. :eek:

Miss Ronnie has no inhibition. She strips down naked to get in the pool prances around the house with no clothes on. Telling us she is "naked". :lol: She does not do this out in public thank God. Actually if she sees a pool at someones house she does strip down to get in. I forgot about that.

Not really so funny any more as she is getting older and has an older brother and friends who come over. Our house is really laid out funky and she shares a room with her younger siblings. Our bathroom is really cramped for sitting down to get dressed. :unsure:

I would love to hear any suggestions. Thanks.

Gail in NY
08-16-2012, 07:49 AM
hmmm....by 9 they should have more of a sense of decency/privacy/modesty. Being embarrased at their nakedness. I have a 9 yo and he has been slamming the door on me for quite a while now!:lol:

I would just sit down and talk with her about appropriate/inappropriate and help her make wise choices for the situation. (clothing for swimming vs clothing you wear shopping etc)
Alos give her a list of choices of what you can accept and give her a learning time. After that, I would begin to enforce consequences for inappropriate

If she has learning disabilities....???? I have no experience in that so I wouldnt offer any advice.

BTW - this summer I would've peeled off the clothes if I could!! :blush:

Hollie in SC
08-16-2012, 08:27 AM
Christi, I don't know how much Ronnie is delayed in those areas of understanding. Noah is 8. There are several children with Down syndrome in his class and there is such a huge range of abilities.

When things like this come up it becomes a longstanding mantra of the same words and actions for us to make progress.

In this case it would be, "Noah, we keep our clothes on." Then we put them back on him.

If you know there will be a pool, you can talk with her before you go about what you do and don't do. Keep it simple.

If she strips down, you dress her and tell her that, "We wear swim suits in the pool." I would also give her a time out before getting into the pool if those are the plans.

You might get some children's picture books of children in a pool and point out that we wear swimsuits when we are in the pool. Likewise, when she is in the bath you could remind her that we get undressed to take a bath, but only in our room/bathroom.

If she has dolls or paper dolls with swimsuits, you could also do some role playing with them.

It is all so hard. :unsure:Noah certainly has some established bad habits. At the same time there are areas where I know that he knows he is being naughty vs. times where he just doesn't understand. Repetition and consistency are what helps him. It just requires a ton of work and patience. :group:

Sheryl in NH
08-16-2012, 08:34 AM
BTW - this summer I would've peeled off the clothes if I could!! :blush:

I just have to tell you that Ronnie is one of my favorite kids on this board. Stories about her often put a smile on my face.

I have a child with sensory issues who struggled with appropriate clothing choices (and still does, although to a lesser extent now). This child HAS to ask before making any changes to their wardrobe, in even the slightest way.

Child wants to remove a bandaid, child asks.
Child wants to put in a hair ribbon, child asks.
Child wants to go barefoot, child asks.
Child wants to sleep in a winter coat, child asks.

Is the system over the top for a kid of this age? Yes, very much so, but she needs the help to learn this seemingly simple thing.

We have worked really hard to praise extensively the appropriate choices and gently explain why when we say no. We NEVER say no to a choice without discussing the reasoning.

Good luck!

08-16-2012, 09:54 AM
No help here, but I'm fairly certain my 5yo with down syndrome would be doing this also if he was able to remove his clothes. :lol:We struggle to keep his socks and shoes on though.

Gail in NY
08-16-2012, 12:41 PM
guess I should've read ALL your sig line. Please excuse me while I go pull my foot out of my mouth........:eyes:

Kellie in NE
08-16-2012, 01:31 PM
:group: I know how you feel. We battle this with our five year daughter who has autism. What has worked for us is to never give her a reaction. This can be especially hard when we are in public (and yes she does it everywhere) or it is the 20th time that hour that you have had to put her clothes back on. We simply go over to her and dress her and calmly say "We need to wear clothes here in the house." We also make use of time out when it is appropriate for the situation.

We buy her leotards to wear at home and special sleepers that she cannot remove to wear at night. We also make sure that the clothing she wears is comfortable for her-even if that means she does not wear dresses to Church or other formal events. For us it seems to be a cycle. The removal of clothes will be her thing for 3-4 weeks and then she will replace it with something else.

It can be so hard and takes a lot of work and patience.

08-16-2012, 05:08 PM
I don't have a specific resource for you, but a lot of the Life Skill training materials offer lessons on this and other topics. Often they include pictures and short phrases discussing what is appropriate and what isn't. You might try using your own picture books and just discussing the topic.

For instance, you if have a book with kids taking a bath point out that when the character is taking a bath the clothes are off. But, when the character gets out of the bath, they put on a towel. I would look for story books about bedtime or morning routines (Blue's Goodnight I remember has a put on pajamas page). My kids wear the towel to their bedroom to get dressed. DD likes to stand behind her closet door to dress. DS just throws his younger brother out of the room while he's dressing.

Do the same with other books, "Look, when the boy is in the living room, he has his clothes on!" Find some about pool safety and don't read the text about safety or a book about the beach, and point out that the children are all in swim suit.

Sorry I can be of more help. I've been looking at emotion skills materials lately and remember seeing the picture-style books and flash cards but didn't really pay attention to the life skills ones.

08-16-2012, 09:19 PM
Glad to know I'm not alone. :blush:
Yesterday, Eli came in the front door from Kindergarten and peeled everything off. :lol:

This is not something we have really dealt with and I think it has something to do with this new transition into full day school. :unsure:

Something we will now have to work on, I'm sure.

08-18-2012, 01:53 AM
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08-24-2012, 08:57 PM
Ok, I hear ya sista! My Ellie and I go round and round about getting naked. I am such a prude about it that I cannot imagine where she gets here freedom to be nude. She is 9 years old and has down syndrome too. And yes, the pool is an issue, yes she gets scolded and yes she doesn't care who is around. She also does the same when she has had an potty accident. If someone told me back in the day that my 9 year old would still have potty accidents, I would have fainted and panicked at the same time. But ....
I will share some ideas I am going to try.... when I slow down enough to do it..

I am going to post pictures of where to take off your clothes. Ie, in your room or in the bathroom. And pictures of where to wear clothes... well everywhere else and outside our house on the wall. Hope that makes sense, I will tell you how it goes.
Hey, we were all born nude and have to learn to put on the clothes..
ok, my other idea for summer was to buy one of those changing tents to put outside, so when she goes to strip down and change clothes, she would use that tent. My friend has one and Ellie loves going in there. If she thinks it is fun, then maybe we will all see a little less of her boom boom.

I am motivated now after writing it all down, and accountable now too.... cross your fingers and say a prayer...!!!